Fishskin Trousers by Elizabeth Kuti

Author:Elizabeth Kuti
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Nick Hern Books

TIME SPENT ON TRAINS

Time Spent on Trains was first performed at the Miniaturists, Southwark Playhouse, London, on 18 June 2006, with the following cast:

JENNY

Lindsey Bourne

PETER

Robert Price

Director

Elizabeth Kuti

Characters

JENNY

PETER

JENNY is wearing floaty summer clothes, slightly reminiscent of 1977.

PETER is thirty-seven and wears a suit and tie. He has bare feet. He does not look at JENNY, ever.

They are on a train.

An announcement comes over the tannoy.

ANNOUNCEMENT. British Rail regrets that this service has been delayed. Please await further announcements.

JENNY. Peter.

Peter.

Peter.

Peter.

Peter.

Oh, Peter.

Petey.

Peets.

Hey, Peets.

I love you.

I love you.

Hey.

Peter.

Hey.

This is such an adventure.

I love going on adventures with you.

I love trains.

PETER. Yes. Trains. Yes.

JENNY. When I was little, I mean when I was young, I had to get a train to school every day. Every single day. And the train we got always used to have those tiny little carriages which are just the two rows of seats facing each other, like a first-class compartment only without the corridor going down the side. We used to call them doggy-boxes.

Or a dog-box if you were cool.

Get us a dog-box, Jen!

Except I wasn’t cool at all.

But when someone managed to get a doggy-box we’d climb up and sit in the luggage racks and travel in style with our bums parked right up high by the ceiling. And sometimes we’d take out the light bulbs. So that when you went through a tunnel it went completely pitch black. And there was this really long tunnel just before we got to our stop that went on for ever. Or several minutes anyway but that’s a long time when you’re in a tunnel. Especially when it’s so pitch black you can’t even see your – (Holds her hand right in front of her eyes.) And you’re rocking along up in the luggage rack bold as brass seventy miles an hour in the pitch dark screaming – that was the point of the whole thing – to scream like lunatics right through the tunnel. Or stop and listen to everyone else screaming.

And then they told us in assembly – never ever get into one of those carriages beacuse something awful might happen. And there was this rumour that something awful had happened to somebody from fourth year in a dog-box, so we kind of went off them. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Just you and the pervert. Probably wasn’t true, anyway, probably just our feverish imaginations.

Hey. Peter.

Who’s this?

She does a very good Tyrannosaurus Rex impersonation.

Who am I?

Oh come on you know it, it’s easy.

She does it again.

Well I think it’s easy. It’s all in the – (Holds up two little two-fingered claws.) Tyrannosaurus – ?

Rex.

T. Rex.

Do you not want your shoes on, darling?

Are your feet not cold?

You look ever so smart.

Shoes?

PETER. I don’t want.

JENNY. Okay.

No rush.

We’re not going to be there for a while anyway.

God, look at the sky.

Could you be just a bit more blue please?

I love the sky.

Do you love the sky, Petey?

You may scoff but where’d we be without it? We’d be lost

without it.

Be like going out without your hat.

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